Re-running this post in honor of International Transgender Day of Visibility.

We can celebrate the progress — this post was originally published in December 2019 — but have to recognize the realities. For instance, per this NPR report, 20 states are have introduced bills banning specific medical care for transgendered youth.

****

Last week, Merriam-Webster.com announced its 2019 Word of the Year. It’s an annual tradition that highlights what topped the word searches for the year.

2019’s word is “They.”

What’s the big deal about a plural personal pronoun?

Pronoun Refresher:
The cats kept attacking the Christmas tree. They couldn’t keep their paws off the shiny ornaments.

The plural pronoun “they” and possessive pronoun “their” keep you from having to say “cats” over and over and over.

That it was the most looked up word is significant because it signals a shift in how we think about grammar “rules,” how language evolves, and — most importantly — how we are able to honor different people’s reality and points of view.

For nonbinary people, singular pronouns have been a sticking point because in English pronouns are gendered. There was only he/him or she/her pick from.

Singular Pronoun Refresher:

Joe kept attacking the Christmas tree. He couldn’t keep his hands off the shiny ornaments.

The pronoun “he” and the possessive pronoun “his” keep you from having to say “Joe” over and over and over.

Traditional grammar rules held that you couldn’t use a plural pronoun — they/them — to refer to an individual.

Which leaves a significant gap if you’re not in the he/him or she/her camp.

If Joe in the examples above doesn’t identify as “he” or “she” and “they” isn’t strictly correct, what are Joe’s options? Joe has no options.

Fortunately, the grammar rules are easing. In 2017, the Associated Press updated its style guide for journalists to allow “they” as a singular pronoun in certain cases.

Event name tags and profiles are starting to list a person’s pronouns of choice. For instance, in her LinkedIn Profile, friend and author Ellen Burton includes her preferred pronouns. (BTW, you should check out her book The Civility Project.)

And now “they” is the top search of the year, which I interpret as another step in normalizing “they” as a singular pronoun.

I’ll admit that using “they” for individuals feels a little weird. But only because I’m old and it’s a habit. That “rule” was ingrained in me at age 10 or so and I spent years editing it out of people’s content.

So, I’ll get over the weirdness. I’ll stumble sometimes, I’ll slip up and revert, but I’ll keep at it. It’s just habit and habits get broken every day.

Back when dinosaurs and typewriters roamed the Earth, it was the norm to insert two spaces after a period. For many of us, that’s a significant muscle memory that we had to unlearn in the computer era.

Things change. We change with them.

The bottom line is that it’s not about me or what I’m “used” to.

It’s about giving people space to live their lives authentically, respecting choices, meeting people where they are, and not imposing my point of view on the world.

It’s also about letting language evolve and grow so it can do what it needs to do - express with clarity.

P.S. This is not a sponsored post; the link to Ellen’s book is not an affiliate link. I just like promoting good work and especially the good work of good friends!

“Well Said Wednesday” is a blog by Barbara Govednik, Founder, Content Coach & Message Strategist of 4.23 Communication. It’s published every other Wednesday…ish (when not on hiatus.)

This post was originally published on December 18, 2019.